and so it goes

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

just to keep this alive...
HI.

hahaha. sigh. i just realised i missed the boys' birthday. I kept thinking it was 1st april. sigh i feel so bad now. I only realised I missed his birthday 2 weeks later.... sighs. I won't forget again next year ok.

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Wednesday, May 07, 2014

Its been a long time since I've been here, but just really wanted to say something with examinations coming to an end meaning people graduating, meaning I have no idea when is the next time I will ever see them again. The past year/ two semesters have been phenomenal. Somehow, I met more people, made more friends, although I know that we probably wouldn't hang out together outside in future, I still feel super fortunate to have met you guys in your last year of schooling. And it made me really believe in fate. If I had come in earlier, would I still have had the chance to make friends like you all. I've had all of you offer me help in some way or another even though I have yet to ask for it. It really warms my heart to know that there are people who care and who bother and who are so willing to reach out to help me in anyway they can. It really means so so much to me. I may not even remember how the friendship started or whether it was just a senior-junior thing all the way. but really.. its still. really nice to know people like you guys... I sincerely wish you guys all the best in the next step in your lives. May graduation bring even more exciting life adventures to all of you!

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE.

all I can say was that 2013 was a great year.

2014 is going to be greater. no doubt I screwed up at some points. but well... I just have to remember not to make the same mistakes again this year.

lots of obstacles to be overcome. just gotta have faith.

though 2013 ended on a weird and wrong and sad note. I shall not let it happen again..... most happening year of my life has got to be 2013 I think. or the most happening year of my uni life I guess.

HO > Stong > ATC > FOOT > Being SPO > continuing cheer > Transcomm > firelight > MC interviews > getting stuck in a life > AGM > SC interviews > SC trip > and everything else........

thankful thankful thankful for everything that I have gained last year

2014 will have its new challenges. but yes. we will get through it together. I will get past myself.

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Monday, December 31, 2012

In the blink of an eye, one yr has ended. just like that. this yr was filled with good and bad but mostly good i think.
So, at the beginning of the year, I suppose we were still busy with SIP, MP, final report and poster preperation. Have to say that I am still very very thankful that it happened. The 5 months I won't forget. A few regrets, but I still must say that I've tried my best. Pika Chu also came home and became officially free roaming bunnies. (almost, cos its limited to my room.)
Then, it was job hunting, which was supposed to be settled already, but who knows, it took so damn long to be confirmed, the search nv really stopped for me. can't rly rem what i did for like two three months later. but after tt, everything came together. finally confirming jobs. two together smmore. annoying but it eventually worked out. no fret. Expo, robinsons sale with mh and zy. and making new frens, and in contact until now. =) and of cos TP. ended up working in the aquaculture facility, changing water, testing water quality, cleaning shit, making fish food and all. Time flew by and the crazy days with denise passed just like tt. It was still an experience cos, i doubt i would ever work in such places ever again. Other benefits also included watching a few surgeries. Also worked temp for hill's selling pet food and products. wasn't too bad, at least it was with familiar people. but I'm rly not good at striking up convos with strangers.
Also officially graduated from TP after three years of hardworkingness. And so after final results were out, it was uni application. Lots of ups and downs, edufairs, consulting reps and friends, school hunting, checking out Aus unis, which I really thought I was gonna end up in. Especially after the rejection letter from NTU came. This was when I experienced lots of support from past teachers, employers, friends and family. Really really thankful for all these wonderful people around me, i'm really fortunate I must say. Without all these people, I would still be the me who'd still be wandering and lost and probably very very unhappy.
Then it was planning for a holiday with mh and sh. FIrst time i was gonna go on holiday with friends alone. though i met up with dj and ej over there in bkk too. but 3 days were spent alone with mh and sh. super fun and i still miss it cos we ate so much, shopped so much, experienced so much and explored so much. =D ard 5 full days of not caring abt anything and just enjoying. whoohoo.
getting into ntu, moving into hall. starting of school. meeting old friends again. and finding out that people are still the same. and that they are supportive and nice. =) and meeting new friends and new poeple. the girls and ATC pple.
starting cheer training and having ATC meetings and reccees and bonding trip at berkelah falls which was super fun and exciting but unfortunately my stomach was having probs. but i survived. And after that, it was exams and more reccees. and now, the end of the year.
Pika also passed away in april from gut stasis but he will live in my heart forever. He was so special and was such a sweet boy. love him forever!!!!
Mainly, i've learnt this year to be thankful and grateful for everything and to see things in the bigger picture. Nothing is more important than happiness.

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

working in TP is not that great actually. except for the pay. and denise. not looking forward to the days i dont see her for like 7/6 days a week. haha. she really brings out the craziness in everyone.

hmm.. so i finally got an acceptance letter from NTU which was a big surprise and huge relief. (dont have to worry abt not getting a job (yet).) but its equally intimidating to think that i have to make new friends all over again. can't imagine what it will be like to be all alone!

will miss working with denise and all our craziness and embarrassing times!
will miss how we randomly break out in the most random songs, say the most retarded things,
or do the stupidest things and getting caught by someone.
or creating some form of crisis unknowingly. hahaha. thinking abt it just cracks me up.

and how we talk abt almost everything under the sun.

happy days. happiest days ever. =) hope it stays this way even when i dont see her that often.

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Thursday, June 07, 2012

thought about Pika yet again.
and so many other things. sigh.
today is ultimate emo day.
feeling really lost all of a sudden.
and working with someone who really sucks.
not talking abt denise ah.
the other person.
good thing marissa saved us. but still.
after tmr. no more....

went to visit pika.
there were weeds growing on top of his grave..
made me even more emo...
really hope hes in a happier place now.
can't stand the thought of pikachu without pika.
=(

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

was thinking abt pika today again.
and felt like coming here... miss my little boy very much.

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Friday, April 20, 2012

really miss Pika a lot.....

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Friday, April 13, 2012

disappearing from time to time is good.

really do not like bothering people at all about anything.

Wednesday, I had to watch the most horrible thing happening...

I know what the problem is now. I really hate myself for not feeling that the condition was urgent enough... I really should have known but I don't know whats wrong with me.

I should have consulted someone else who bothered more I guess...

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Monday, April 09, 2012

what is the point

if there are no more similarities to speak of.

if there is no more trust nor acceptance.

i ate where i shat. and i regret. tts all i can say. hahaha.

not funny lah.

im sure things will get better after the bitterness and hate.

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Thursday, April 05, 2012

the fatty is so cute.

lying on the floor being fat. haha...

and i rly feel like going to get macs.

didnt have a very satisfying dinner..

buttttt im abit slpy and lazy. soooo..

i guess...

i shall not. go. as usual...

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Friday, March 30, 2012

ok. everything is left up to fate now.

still feel like a failure though.

after everything.

still have those resumes to send out.

nothing lasts forever
lost`

wentshopping at bugis on wed with my eldest sis.

ohoh. before tt we went to st nix to have orange bowl agn wee...

and i totally overslpt.

and she totally sat on the floor at bugis mrt while reading and waiting for me. hahaha.

from the distance she rly look like small girl lor.

anws.

aft st nix.

went off to shop at bugis.

woooooo.

she bought me stuff. hehe.

im so lucky. i got a very nice sister.

she bought a lot of things too lah.

and guess what.

one of the ladies in one of the shops asked her.

are u all students?

then dj said yes.

and she asked how come no class?

then dj said waiting for sch to start.

and the lady asked poly ah?

and dj said uni.

hahaha. can u imagine...

9years older and mistaken for being ard the same age.

she has an almost 2 yr old son somemore.

cool rite....

aft tt went to tanjong pagar to fetch bbrk from school. heh. hes so cute.

and he was so excited to see us and started being all goofy agn.

hahaha. after tt we went to clarke quay mrt to wait for djf and head home.

woo bbrk farted damn smelly then we thought he shat.

wanted to change diapers for him but end up...

he didnt even shit! hahaha

damn funny.

ok done.

another week has gone by with me staying home....

and nt earning any money.

my goodness..... sobs.

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Thursday, March 29, 2012

had another awesome dream last nite.

catching up with a friend i stopped talking to.

who offered me comfort and treated me with respect and.

how to say. erm. it was just a very nice dream.

like how did i even end up with such a great friend.

too bad it wasnt real and im still not talking to tt friend but anws.

irl that person is probably not like in my dream.

but i wld be happy to meet someone who was like in the dream.

but i think...

maybe extinct alr.

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Monday, March 26, 2012

omg i had a fabulous dream while napping today.

dunno why im so tired but yahh.. i napped for like 4 hrs and had difficulty actually waking up man.

anw. dream was.. haha. i dreamt i was slping on the sofa(which was where i was!) and when i woke up, i saw an extra bunny running around the house

and wondering how it got in.

it coincidentally was a white bunny with brown gray marks on both sides of her body that looked like two wings.

so at first i was like confused. like. was tt a bird or bunny.

hahaha.

then i thought it was a bunny bird which flew into the house cos how else cld it have came in rite!

so i was trying to get a good look of it and realised everyone was home alr.

and they all acted like it was such a normal thing that the bunnybird was around.

but anws. it was so smart at jumping up things. like jumping up the sofa and over it onto smthing else.

later on i realised there were two other hairless bunnies on another sofa. and when the bunnybird(ok by this time i alr realised the two "wings" were just patterns.) went to that other sofa i saw two hairless baby buns. omg so cute rite. haha. but anws. i was asking my sis why the hell there were so many bunnies in the house. she asked me to ask my mum.

haha. then it was actually she who brought them home saying that her boss treated them very badly so she brought them home.

haha. tts abt it.

i rem being very happy in the dream though. hhaha.

so lame rite. i know.

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Thursday, March 22, 2012

sigh. im just feeling so depressed.

going out tmr but i doubt i will be very present..

=((

going back to st nix!

quite excited but it just reminds me that i am doing nth slacking ard at home as usual.

ahh shld have just gone back to kumon for like the time being.

at least earn some money. haha.

tts what i liked abt working there?

right when the hols starts i can start work and i have income..?

yeah..

nvm lorh. i guess. sobs.

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

feeling so hopeless and nobody to talk to.

sigh...

should i just apply to the zoo already?

deadline is 30th april...

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

suddenly feel damn depressed about my not doing anything days. sobs.

was thinking and feel tt i rly regret. hahaha. shit.

been scolding a lot of vulgarities in my mind these few weeks.

not very proud to say that. but it helps with the anger issues i guess.

turning love into hate makes it a lot easier.

nothing lasts forever
lost`

Monday, March 19, 2012

i guess this might be very hurtful but honestly.

i'd rather not have made some choices i made if i had known.

if i had to go to psb.

its all not worth it at all.

its ok if i skipped the TP part actually.

i'd rather not have known certain people.

and i'd rather moved on with my life faster...

but ok.. some people i will be very sad not knowing actually.

sigh. but still.. i think.. it was not worth it.

i dont regret "not studying harder" cos i think i rly did?

i mean did do the best that i could.

nothing lasts forever
lost`